Woman comes up to a conductor and asks, “Where’s the bathroom?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the first car. Walk around. You’ll find it,” she responded.
Where’s the bathroom?
The Ex
Two women talking on the train about the one woman’s recent break-up with her boyfriend…
“He said he needed to take a break. Go away,” the broken hearted one said.
“Like a vacation?” said the other.
“Not really a vacation. He said he was going on some kind of historical journey,” she replied.
“Oh, like hooking up with an ex?” said the other
Passing through Newark
Two young boys talking as the train passes through Newark.
“I bet those factories make cookies!” said one boy.
“Those factories are disgusting. Newark is a dump,” responded the other.
Mooning the train
Fortunately, I commute on the east coast so I did not fall victim to this annual train mooning, but it’s an interesting story nonetheless.
For the last 30 years, crowds have lined the tracks in Laguna Niguel to drop their pants or hoist their skirts every time a train passes.
Legend has it that the tradition began with a barroom bet in 1979 when a patron at the Mugs Away Saloon offered to buy a drink for anyone who would moon the next train.
Thousands of people now show up every year just to drop their pants at a passing train.
New York hotels on a budget
Living in Pennsylvania and commuting to New York City requires one to find occasional living arrangements in the Big Apple. You have a couple of choices. Rent an apartment (which is the most expensive option), find a room for rent (not easy) or stay in a hotel. New York City is well known for its high-priced luxury rooms, which does not bode well for the budget-minded commuter.
But, New York City does have plenty of hotels for those of us on a budget, so I’m starting a new section on this blog just for those looking for ways to save money on traveling to New York City.
The hotel that I use most frequently is the Park Savoy. This hotel is located a block off the park, and it’s location is perfect for me because I can walk to and from work pretty easily. The smallest room runs $115-$125 (taxes included).
The rooms are simple. You get a bed, tv, and a bathroom. There’s no room service. No food for sale behind a cabinet door. No alarm clock. It’s bare bones, but if all you need is a place to sleep and take a shower, this hotel is located in a perfect spot.
There is construction going on next door, but I have not been awoken by any loud drilling or banging since the work started last fall.
There’s a pizza place next door if you need a quick bite. For breakfast, there are a couple of options on 7th Avenue. For healthy eaters, try Cafe Europa on the corner of 58th and 7th. A half block south, you’ll find a more traditional, and easy on the wallet, diner called La Parisienne Coffee House. Hang a left on 57th, and you’ll find the very busy tourist trap called the Brooklyn Diner. The food is good, but it can be a bit on the pricey side for breakfast.
There’s also an Irish bar called P.J. Carney’s on 7th Avenue between 57th and 58th if you are looking for a burger and a beer.
More hotel suggestions to come in the weeks to come!
One man’s lecture on the state of the union
Man lecturing on the train: “The recession is nothing but a lie by rich people to force poor people out of their homes…. And this Obama healthcare plan is Hiter’s plan. Kill off all the old, sick people… and they want to put chips in our brains to monitor us just like they do it in Massachusetts. Obama sold his soul to the devil along with Mary J. Blige and Queen Latifah.”
Sign of inflation in New York City
Homeless man outside the post office at 68th and Columbus: “Hey buddy, can you spare a hundred?”
Being a dad
Becoming a dad is learning what your father knew your entire life.
Being a dad means falling in love the first moment that you meet.
Being a dad is giving unconditional love.
Being a dad is getting to be Superman in your child’s eyes, even though it is only a temporary impression.
Being a dad is getting to play with Matchbox cars and Barbie dolls.
Being a dad is watching your children learn and grow and succeed.
Being a dad means being grateful for their wonderful mother.
Being a dad is playing catch and giving piggy-back rides
Being a dad is teaching without preaching.
Being a dad means letting go.
Being a dad is believing your children will be better than you, and making sure they know that you believe in them.
Being a dad is coming home to warm hugs of small arms.
Being a dad makes you the richest man in the world.
Being a dad is going fishing.
Being a dad makes you grateful for your father.
Being a dad is understanding that the best advice is your own example.
Being a dad is getting to be Santa Claus.
Being a dad is dressing up like Spiderman for Halloween.
Being a dad is crying tears of joy when your child succeeds, and lifting them up when they fail.
Being a dad is cheering your little boy, a shining star.
Being a dad is cherishing your little girl, knowing she will outgrow your lap, but never your heart.
Being a dad is the greatest gift of a man’s life.
Where’s an ATM?
A lost looking woman walked up to a police officer outside Penn Station.
“Do you know where I can find an ATM?” she asked.
“Lady, it’s New York. There’s ATMs all over the place,” he responded.
“But I can’t find one,” she replied.
“Do you have an iPhone?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said.
“Go to Google Maps and you’ll find one,” he said, and the two parted ways.
How was the trip?
Man talking to another man about a recent trip.
Man # 1: So how was your trip?
Man # 2: I spent five days with my ex-wife and had a heart attack.